Quote of the Day (2008-04-30)

[at Juno's ultrasound]
Leah: Whoa! Check out Baby Big Head. Dude, that thing is freaky lookin'.
Juno MacGuff: Excuse me. I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you've got in your stomach is Taco Bell.

Source: Juno

Quote of the Day (2008-04-29)

Homer Simpson: Sometimes, Marge, you just have to go with your gut.
Marge: You *always* go with your gut. How about for once you listen to your brain?

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2008-04-28)

Captain Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.
Rick: I was misinformed.

Source: Casablanca

Quote of the Day (2008-04-27)

[George describing his breakup attempt]
It's like I was making a prison break, you know. And I'm heading for the wall, and I trip and I twist my ankle, and they throw the light on you, you know. So, somehow I get through the crying and I keep running. Then the cursing started. She's firing at me from the guard tower: 'Son of a bang! Son of a boom!' I get to the top of the wall, the front door. I opened it up, I'm one foot away. I took one last look around the penitentiary, and I jumped!

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2008-04-26)

Jerry: "You know how the big toe is the captain of the toes, but sometimes the toe next to the big toe gets so big that there's a power struggle and the second toe assumes control of the foot."
George: "The coup de toe!"

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2008-04-25)

Sir Humphrey: "Minister, you said you wanted the administration figures reduced, didn't you?"
Jim Hacker: "Yes."
Sir Humphrey: "So we reduced the figures."
Jim Hacker: "But only the figures, not the number of administrators."
Sir Humphrey: "Well of course not."
Jim Hacker: "Well that is not what I meant."
Sir Humphrey: "Well really Minister, one is not a mind-reader, is one? You said reduce the figures, so we reduced the figures."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2008-04-24)

Joey Naylor (to his father): Please don't ruin my childhood.

Source: Thank You For Smoking

Quote of the Day (2008-04-23)

Frasier: God, I hate lawyers.
Niles: Me, too. But they make wonderful patients: they have excellent health insurance and they never get better.

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2008-04-22)

We're knights of the round table
We dance whene'er we're able
We do routines and chorus scenes
With footwork impeccable.
We dine well here in Camelot
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.

We're knights of the Round Table
Our shows are formidable
But many times
We're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable
We're opera mad in Camelot
We sing from the diaphragm a lot.

In war we're tough and able.
Quite indefatigable
Between our quests
We sequin vests
And impersonate Clark Gable
It's a busy life in Camelot.

I have to push the pram a lot.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2008-04-21)

GALAHAD: Now look, I can handle this lot single-handed!
DINGO: Yes! Let him handle us single-handed!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2008-04-20)

Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Westley: You're that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Westley: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2008-04-19)

Sir Humphrey: "Hello Bernard, I hear the Prime Minister wants to see me?"
Bernard Woolley: "Yes, Sir Humphrey."
Sir Humphrey: "What's his problem?"
Bernard Woolley: "Education."
Sir Humphrey: "Well, it's a bit late to do anything about that now."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2008-04-16)

Sam Baldwin: What is "tiramisu"?
Jay: You'll find out.
Sam Baldwin: Well, what is it?
Jay: You'll see!
Sam Baldwin: Some woman is gonna want me to do it to her and I'm not gonna know what it is!

Source: Sleepless in Seattle

Quote of the Day (2008-04-10)

Sir Humphrey: "Didn't you read the Financial Times this morning?"
Sir Desmond Glazebrook: "Never do."
Sir Humphrey: "Well you're a banker, surely you read the Financial Times?"
Sir Desmond: "Can't understand it. Full of economic theory."
Sir Humphrey: "Why do you buy it?"
Sir Desmond: "Oh, you know, it's part of the uniform."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2008-04-09)

Nash: Alicia, does our relationship warrant long-term commitment? I need some kind of proof, some kind of verifiable, empirical data.
Alicia: I'm sorry, just give me a moment to redefine my girlish notions of romance.

Source: A Beautiful Mind

Quote of the Day (2008-04-08)

Rebbecca: Oh, why can't more men send flowers?
Sam: I didn't know Mormons couldn't send flowers.
Rebbecca: I said more men, not Mormons.
Sam: I know they can't dance.
Norm: No Sammy, that's the -- that's the Amish.
Sam: Why can't Mormons send flowers?
Rebbecca: They can.
Sam: What are you talking about?
Rebbecca: I just wish someone would send me some damn roses.
Sam: Why does it have to be a Mormon?
Rebbecca: Oh! [storms off]
Sam: Some people you just can't discuss religion with.

Source: Cheers

Quote of the Day (2008-04-07)

Margaret Lord: Are you one of the musicians?
Macaulay Connor: No!
Margaret Lord: Oh of course, you're Junius's friend. Only you're not. Do you have any violin strings?
Macaulay Connor: [digs in his pocket] I have an aspirin. Will that work?
Margaret Lord: I don't think so! It's for a violin. Oh well, no matter!

Source: The Philadelphia Story

Quote of the Day (2008-04-06)

Sir Humphrey: "It must be hard for a political adviser to understand this, but I'm merely a civil servant. I simply do as I am instructed by my master."
Jim Hacker: "What happens when a Minister is a woman, what'll you call her?"
Sir Humphrey: "Yes, that is rather interesting. We sought an answer to that point when I was Principal Private Secretary and Dr. Edith Summerskill - as she then was - was appointed Minister in 1947. I didn't quite like to refer to her as my mistress."
Jim Hacker: "What was the answer?"
Sir Humphrey: "Oh, we're still waiting for it."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2008-04-05)

BR: We don't sell Tic Tacs, we sell cigarettes. And they're cool, available, and *addictive*. The job is almost done for us.

Source: Thank You For Smoking

Quote of the Day (2008-04-04)

Politicians' Logic: Something must be done, this is something, therefore it must be done.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2008-04-03)

Agnes Moorhouse: "Animals have rights too, you know. A battery chicken's life isn't worth living. Would you want to spend your life packed in with six hundred other desperate, squawking, smelly creatures, unable to breathe fresh air, unable to move, unable to stretch, unable to think?"
Sir Humphrey: "Certainly not, that is why I never stood for Parliament."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2008-04-02)

Where's your Christmas spirit? An eye for an eye.

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2008-04-01)

"I don't like the opera. What are they singing for? Who sings? You got something to say, say it."

Source: Seinfeld